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The Fine Line Between Being Friendly and Being Their Friend

Featured Author:

Colleen Francis

For over 15 years, she has studied the business habits of the top 10% of sales performers in organizations of all sizes and shapes-from Fortune 500 companies to small businesses. Through her company, Engage Selling Solutions, Colleen has condensed that winning formula into an internationally acclaimed sales-training approach, helping sales and marketing professionals everywhere achieve their maximum potential.

Colleen provides sales seminars and training, in addition to her popular coaching program, and delivers immediate and lasting improvements to sales results and the bottom line. See how Colleen can help you sell more in less time at www.EngageSelling.com

More articles from this author:

• 18 Ways to Fill Your Pipeline
• The Best Times to Reach Prospect
• 9 Ways to Create a Positive Customer Experience

When it comes to our customers, we in sales are used to walking a fine line between right and wrong behaviors. The consequences of stepping over that line can range from a simple “blip” in an otherwise strong and steady relationship, to costing you the sale, or perhaps even losing a loyal customer for life.

Now, I know that we spend a lot of time talking about how important it is to develop trusted relationships with your clients. And that’s still true. But building a trusted relationship with a client doesn’t mean that you have to be their friend; it just means you have to be friendly.

It’s been said, for example, that most people can only manage about 6 meaningful relationships at a time, before one of those relationships starts to deteriorate. For sales people, it’s important to remember that those 6 relationships should be our family and friends – not our clients.

Avoiding the “Dark Side” of the Line

A wise former boss once said to me that sales is not the profession for you to get your emotional needs met.

Sales people cross the line between being friendly and being their customers’ friend when they start to empathize with the customer so much that they lose focus on why the relationship was built to begin with: to help solve a problem, and create profit for both the buyer and the seller.

Too many sales people mistake building business rapport with getting friendly. Your customers are not your drinking buddies, your shoulder to cry on or the people you run to when your credit card is over the limit. They are your customers, and you need them to like, trust and respect you as a business partner – not a friend.

When a sales person becomes too emotionally attached to their customers, they may inadvertently sabotage the relationship in one of three important ways:

1. They lose the objectivity they need to make the right decisions for the buyer’s company, and for their own.
2. They lose their professional distance and decorum, letting their hair down, revealing their more “casual” selves and perhaps even doing or saying something inappropriate which could potentially offend the client. I’ve seen far too many customer relationships ruined over late night parties that went on too long, personal conversations that went a little too deep, or jokes that were just a little too risqué. Whether it’s gossip, distasteful jokes, excessive drinking, smoking or simply a sloppy appearance, being too casual will eventually deteriorate even the best business relationship.
3. They take their new “friends” for granted, and begin to expect that all their business will always come their way. As a result, they forget to market to them, recognize the importance of their business or promote them to other customers. In other words, they get lazy, start focusing on the socializing and neglect the real work – like looking out for new issues, recognizing new opportunities and solving new problems along the way.