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From Dale Carnegie's Golden Book  Principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Become a Friendlier Person

1. Don't critize, condemn or complain.

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

4. Become genuinely interested in other people.

5. Smile.

6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the best way to arouse in another person an eager want?

This is one of the top sales/business books out there. We studied it in my management class in college. I think the "arouse an eager want part" is about seeing the situation from their point of view. What are they trying to get out of this conversation? If you put your self in their shoes, you automatically open the arena to accomplish their goal.

Its funny how becoming a friendlier person sounds like becoming a mirror. It's true though; its human nature to be drawn to seeing ourselves in our surroundings. And if we're talking about wanting to influence people, becoming approachable and attractive makes sense. In my experience, listening does wonders. You can engage in a whole conversation with someone without even saying a word, yet they feel satisfied and special. Its easier than giving a smile, in my opinion.

Vincent says ...

I read this principle that you should mimic the attitude of the person your speaking with.

It should not be an obvious tactic, but I found out it's a pretty good way to put people at ease.

I thought about this this morning actually. I think its more about not reacting to them in a way that contrasts their current state of being; it stands out too much and possibly seems distrusting.

 I think the honesty is not emphasized enough... people are smart and intuitive.  If you don't believe what you are saying, how will anyone else.  Be honest!  Its a lot less stressful.

alan says ...

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.:

This goes along with one of the things I learned in my first sales job - talk about benefits, not features. Meaning tell people about what your  product/service does to make their life easier, not just a list of that product/service's traits or feature.

Thats right on alan.

Here is an excellent article from HQ featured write Kevin Dwyer that expands on the importance of benefits and their relationship to features and advantages. http://saleshq.monster.com/training/articles/617-product-features-advantages-and-benefits

I don't necessarily agree with #6, why;

When I was in Banking, I had a customer named 'Purple Chin' , Honestly!

Another on I have met in sales is ' Buttley Frisley' , Seriously!

Now, come on, how beautiful can those sound, even in French!

I feel the principles from how to win friends and influence people by Imandel are useful. Especially, the 1st, 5th, 6th, 7th & 9th points help alot in making good raport with the clients which in turn gets you more sales>Sales>SALES.

However, apart from the above try to find out what the client needs, what are their requirements and try to explain them how we can fulfill their requirement. Give them a time commitment to fulfill their requirements. Explain more about the benefits and for them features turns into benefits and for us benefits turns into features to sell more and  more.

Hope others like this quote.